DISCERNMENT COUNSELING
Choosing to engage in couples therapy can be an overwhelming decision, especially when your goals are unclear. Finding the right therapy for your goals and desired outcomes is important to your success, but if you and your partner aren’t clear on what those goals are, the process becomes significantly more complicated.
We offer Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy for those who are sure they want to work on a relationship, but what if you or your partner aren’t sure?
Learn more about Discernment Counseling in Fairfax, Northern Virginia. Whether participating in person or virtually, it can help save you wasted time and energy.
Discernment Counseling and the Decision to Divorce
Discernment Counseling is a type of therapy designed for couples who are considering the possibility of separation or divorce, but are trying to determine if the relationship is worth one more shot. The goal of Discernment Counseling is to provide insight and clarity about which path couples should take in their marriage: continuing to deliberate, to separate, or to commit to couples therapy for a period of time.
Whether it be separation, divorce, or making a commitment to work on marital issues through marriage counseling, Discernment Counseling leads both parties to a feeling of confidence in their decision. Couples who have one partner “leaning in” while another is “leaning out” struggle in traditional couples counseling due to their disparate goals; Discernment Counseling is designed to correct this disparity.
What is The Difference Between Marriage Counseling and Discernment Counseling?
The process of Discernment Counseling differs from traditional couples counseling primarily in its goals. In traditional couples counseling, goals usually focus on improving the relationship – in Discernment Counseling, one party will start with uncertainty as to whether the relationship is truly what they want. Through the one-to-five session process, Discernment Counseling aims to provide clients with the clarity they need to move forward in a purposeful way.
Couples Counseling VS Discernment Counseling Goals and Outcomes
Discernment Counseling is a process that starts with a commitment to only one session. After the first session, partners in a relationship both get a choice to come back for up to four additional sessions – they should have a clear idea of their path forward by the end of Session Five. The process leads to one of three paths, below:
- Remain in the relationship as it is, without any specific direction or purpose; i.e., nothing has changed.
- Move purposefully toward separation and/or divorce. With this path, additional separation/divorce counseling is recommended, in order to minimize the negative fallout that is an all-too-often biproduct of the end of a relationship.
- If both partners have gained clarity that they would like to work toward saving the relationship, Path Three is a commitment to six months of couples therapy, with the genuine intention of reconciliation.
Couples Counseling differs from Discernment Counseling in that both partners enter the process with matching goals of wanting to improve and/or save the relationship – the need for clarity of purpose is not needed.
Is Discernment Counseling Right for You?
Discernment counseling may be a good fit when the topic of divorce has come up, but you or your partner aren’t sure if you’re ready to make that decision. Maybe one of you wants to work on the marriage while the other is leaning toward leaving. Or perhaps you’re both questioning the relationship but aren’t ready to truly end your marriage.
Unlike traditional couples therapy, you don’t have to begin discernment counseling already committed to saving your marriage. In fact, that’s the idea. The goal is to slow down an incredibly important decision, understand what brought your relationship to this point, and gain greater clarity about the best way to move forward.
How Do I Know If It’s Time for Divorce?
Divorce is a very personal decision, and it’s usually not an easy one. There isn’t a checklist that can tell you whether you should stay married or get divorced. When you’re living with ongoing conflict, disconnection, broken trust, or years of unresolved problems, it can become difficult to evaluate your relationship clearly.
Discernment counseling isn’t designed to convince you to stay together or push you toward divorce. Instead, the process allows both partners to better understand the relationship, their individual contributions to its challenges, and what would need to change for reconciliation to be possible.
You may ultimately decide to work on your marriage. You may decide to separate. The goal is to make that decision with greater clarity and intention.
Is Discernment Counseling the Same as Pre-Divorce Counseling?
Not exactly, as Discernment doesn’t have a set path forward other than to decide what the path is. If you’ve been searching for pre-divorce counseling in Northern Virginia, discernment counseling may be the service you’re looking for.
You don’t need to have filed for divorce, hired an attorney, or even decided that divorce is what you want. In fact, discernment counseling is specifically intended for the period when the future of your marriage remains uncertain.
Before making a decision that can affect you and your family for years to come, taking time to understand your options can help you determine your next step.
Couples Counseling and Discernment Counseling from Fairfax, Northern Virginia
At Family Wellness Group, we’ve seen the countless issues that people experience when dealing with changes; in seeing that, we’ve come to learn that though there are commonalities to these situations, no two are the same. We are certified in discernment counseling and committed to providing therapy services to all ages and backgrounds. Contact us today to schedule an appointment virtually or in our Fairfax, Northern Virginia office!